For an incident to be considered stealing, the child must know that it is wrong to take the object without permission of the owner. Very young children may simply not understand that others have rights to private property. Minor stealing incidents in early childhood are common. Stealing tends to reach a peak incidence around the ages of 5-8 and then taper off.

 

WHY CHILDREN STEAL

1. There may be something seriously lacking in the child's life, so that stealing may be a symbolic replacement for the absence of parental attention, respect, or affection.
2. Some children steal to bolster their self-esteem. They exhibit the stolen goods to prove to others their toughness, manhood, or competence.
3. Stealing may be the child's way of unconsciously getting even with authority. If a parent forbids a certain behavior, the child may steal with an unconscious wish to get even.
4. Stealing may be a sign of internal stress in a child, such as depression, jealousy over a new baby in the home, or anger.
5. The child may have a very low frustration tolerance and difficulty resisting temptation.

HOW TO PREVENT STEALING

• Help the child to develop values of personal honesty and respect for the property of others.
• Parents who respect the child's right to personal property are less likely to have children with stealing problems.
• Ensure your child a regular source of income to buy the things he needs. This income could come from an allowance or a part-time job. Let him know that he can come to you when he has a real need for money and that you will try to help.
• Be sure to show integrity of character in daily activities such as returning found property and not shortchanging others.
• Property rights should be established in and out of the home. Teach the child how to borrow and return possessions of others.
• The temptation to steal can be removed by not leaving loose change, piggy banks, and other valuables displayed.

 

WHAT TO DO ABOUT STEALING

1. Parents should take the time to understand, confront, and correct the behavior immediately.

   Be open-minded, seek all the facts, and then try to determine underlying motives for the behavior.

   Correct the behavior by having the child make restitution either by returning the object or making a monetary payment to replace it. IT IS IMPORTANT THAT THE CHILD ASSUME PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR CORRECTING THE MISDEED.

   When you are sure a child has stolen something, don't ask him questions about it which could result in lying. Tell him you are aware of the fact that he did steal.

   Explain to the child why stealing is inappropriate and make it clear that this type of behavior will not be tolerated.

   Explain the unfairness of stealing and stress the right of people to private property.

   Examine the possible reasons for childhood stealing and decide which best applies to your child, then try to work with the underlying motive.

   It is important for parents to control their emotions and not be overly shocked or angry in coping with the child who steals. Express your disapproval in a firm way without unnecessary excitement.

   Try not to exaggerate the incident, making the child look like a criminal. Remember when a child is in trouble, he needs your affection and confidence.

   Children who are found to steal often should not be permitted to keep objects which clearly do not belong to them. There should be no borrowing or trading of items. They should expect regular inspections until the problem of stealing is corrected.

   School-age children should be assured of a regular income such as an allowance or after-school part-time job.

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