Most parents would go to almost any lengths to ensure that their child would grow up to be a happy, well-adjusted and productive member of society. Although there is no "magic wand" to make this happen, there are some things that can be done. The most important thing you can do is to strengthen your child's self-esteem because a person with high self-esteem is usually able to successfully handle the challenges that life presents.

SELF-ESTEEM ---WHAT IS IT?

Self-esteem may be best defined as the value one places on his own worth. It is a feeling which is expressed in the way people act and can be observed in children by what they do and how they do things. A child's self-esteem is not always positive.

A child with high self-esteem:

is proud of his accomplishments

can act independently

assumes responsibility easily

looks enthusiastically toward new challenges

feels he can influence others

shows a broad range of emotions and feelings

 

A child with low self-esteem:

avoids situations that provoke anxiety

puts himself down

feels that others don't value him

tends to blame others for his shortcomings

becomes defensive and easily frustrated

is easily influenced by others

shows a narrow range of emotions and feelings

PARENTS ROLE IN ENHANCING SELF-ESTEEM

1. Provide plenty of affection - This is one of the most important things we can do to build self-esteem. It can be done by a hug, a pat on the back, or by saying,"I'm glad you're part of our family."
2. Show your child you trust him - The more your child feels trusted, the more worthwhile he will feel.
3. Never ridicule - Ridicule only serves to tear down self-esteem.
4. Avoid put-downs - Use your words and actions to teach and build rather than to put down.
5. Allow your child to express himself - Encouraging your child to express himself, even though you may not agree with him, builds his self image.
6. Teach your child cooperation - The child who learns to cooperate with others has more self confidence and can build good relationships with others.
7. Do things with your child - Quality time spent together increases feelings of self worth.
8. Be consistent - When a child knows what to expect, he is more confident about handling life situations.
9. Let your child be self reliant - Children need to be allowed to do for themselves according to their ages, skills and maturity levels.
10. Let your child make mistakes - It is very important to allow a child to gain confidence in his own abilities. In order to do this, he must have a chance to make mistakes and learn from them.

HOME ACTIVITIES TO BOOST SELF-ESTEEM

 

• Make a responsibility chart. Children feel proud of themselves when they accomplish tasks. Use stickers, stars or checks to show goal achievement.
• Explore family history. Collect information about parents, grandparents and other relatives. This gives your child a sense of belonging and an idea of his place in the family unit.
• Keep a record of your child's accomplishments. It can include school and home accomplishments and should be reviewed at least once a year to evaluate growth.
• Read folktales together. Books that explain culture or traditions aid in enhancing your child's pride of his heritage.
• Designate a "Family Member of the Week". This idea could spark some interest in decision making for children. The "Family Member of the Week" would be responsible for choosing at least one item (possibly dessert) for each evening meal and could choose a special family activity for one night during the week.

 

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Copyright by School Counselors, Altoona Area School District

Revised: October 29, 1999